Beezkneez

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Thu, 23 Aug 2012 03:26:52 -0400

When you are sad and strange for whatever reason you turn tricks on yourself and act hard. As if any...

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 15:26:42 -0400

When you are sad and strange for whatever reason you turn tricks on yourself and act hard. As if any body could truly handle what self hatred is evident by how terrible one can be to her own vessel fishing infinitely for the morsel of elation that you just know is in there with the boots and old tires. Scratch tickets-I know I may win a dollar or so but the pain of dumping money into a scrap of paper shouldn’t be worth it. Ponder the prize, ponder the prize.

existential agony brought to you by the letter "O"

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 23:28:00 -0400

“you have two different colored eyes” he or she said at this or that place. I stumble into a bus from out of the rain, going somewhere. The basic 3-6 thoughts in my head keep me from painting a realistic picture of my day to day but I know it was raining and there was a bus involved. She was sitting this way, he was sitting that way. All the while I was thinking about-

sex and books and food and money and scars and balloons and birthdays and babies, work and not working, being and not being into something or another thing. I need to do these things and those. I am surprised that I escape waking up in a panic when there’s when it hit me that I almost always hate or love all of these things everyday at least once I was writing this passage. Two things is constant on those moments where it’s raining and I get on a bus.

1. It is raining.

2. I am on a bus.

Suddenly things have gotten clearer. Take care of yourself little one

aim high, dream dangerously, don’t be afraid of the dark and especially don’t be afraid...

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 23:18:55 -0400

aim high, dream dangerously, don’t be afraid of the dark and especially don’t be afraid of the lack there of. It is not that I don’t want to be happy as one subpar want to be beatnik implied but that hot damn it’s sweltering and sexy on that line between lights on and lights off. The most imperfect storm in my head is when it rains while the sun is out and how funny I am not to be confused by the pitter patter over a sunburn- this is what one comes to expect in these oh-so certainly uncertain times of ours. I would make a painting about it but where’s the fun in physical form?

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:48:29 -0400

flikn the bean in kindergarten

even when I crash and burn promise you wont stop loving who I was before the fall the reckless...

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:41:11 -0400

even when I crash and burn promise you wont stop loving who I was before the fall the reckless exchange of misinformation drunken sidestepping kicking and flailing my way into your hearts I am afraid of so much and show so little affection to those i lean on the very most and when I cry I cry rivers, mountain gorges with shiny rocks and complicated turns over and over like a dream and nightmare I will never awake from stumbling and tumbling my way into a warm arms and a smile like a child so lost and frayed beneath and above the hayday of my existence, where a womb was the next big thing and my heart didn’t know what it was like to flutter to the loud thump of my brain firing of synapses to tell you that every plan and every direction is the best, the worst, the first, the last-before the medicine and fist fights am I still the girl people can see things in or am I the remnants of a plane crash scattered like when the music might have died?

tell where my happy dies and i’ll point to you two blue eyes and let you know how no one knows who drew first blood but the red is sticky on fingers and we don’t know whose wounds wound up there first police visits and scandal and I am the one who breaks hearts and hurts feelings even when I’m being used to mop up the skeletons in your closet hardly common barely there I saw you first and I just stared how ruined could my life be when I have finally begun to climb my own tree and taste the top where wood is sweet and everyone I love loves me when I’m on my own two feet a create kisses and chaos you make lies and hurt I hope they ask you a lot of questions on your way to heavens gates, loose lips sink ships but I’m the kind of lady who would rather swim than keep my pretty mouth shut you never liked that about me but you never corrected me only brought it up when it could hurt the most like a game-it was always, always like a game and now that I know people I respect I hope they can look past that dark speck of my life which i affectionately call “you”.

Video

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 13:46:12 -0400

this will get stuck in yer head and you will hate it.

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 13:24:35 -0400

this will get stuck in yer head and you will hate it.

Photo

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 13:23:15 -0400

Photo

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 12:51:07 -0400

Photo

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 12:48:52 -0400

i'm pondering great distances

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 16:02:35 -0400

I ponder so long about the distance in time between the first hello, a handshake

and the tearful packing of bags.

David, I was never one not to set a target.

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 15:53:55 -0400

sweet baby beatnik boy your head spins so softy your sweaty palms beat the keys like a prayer wheel- when does baby beatnik boy get that whiskey and a broken heart can only write you so many tales of woe? You ain’t a nihilist and I’m sorry I broke that heart so long ago but boy you are still the mess i fell in like with and the tale on the tip of my tongue. Get a life before a wife, ya dig?

Photo

Sun, 06 May 2012 13:30:48 -0400

I first heard this song when I was about eight years old in the...

Sun, 06 May 2012 13:24:23 -0400

I first heard this song when I was about eight years old in the backseat of my parents car and it mesmerized me. We were out on some kind of late night car journey, I remember them well but I never understood what for or where we were trying to get. The song still stirs me into this nervous flutter as though listening to it is committing an unacceptable act. It’s how I felt when I saw labyrinth or my first marilyn manson video- I think I might have a nervous love for these things.

marijuana-upright citizens- happy cinco de fucking mayo.

Sat, 05 May 2012 23:39:33 -0400

marijuana-upright citizens- happy cinco de fucking mayo.

face/palm/laugh/release/move on

Fri, 04 May 2012 18:45:18 -0400

face/palm/laugh/release/move on

CAN YOU DIG IT?

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 20:46:46 -0400

CAN YOU DIG IT?

st.pee day hey hey

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 10:13:17 -0400

st.pee day hey hey

thedavincicode: cracked.

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 23:00:47 -0400

thedavincicode: cracked.